I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.

The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.