A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was.

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.

What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted; but if your mother goes, Ptshew!

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.