You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.

There's always a down side with any freedom. It's not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art.

Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, "What I'm going to do if I grow up".

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.

Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.