There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.

Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, "What I'm going to do if I grow up".

To say whatever nonsense comes into your head without any repercussions has got to be a bigger high than heckling a movie screen in a darkened theater.