Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.