Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.

Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.

There are never enough I Love You's.

When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.