If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.

I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.

I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.

Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.