Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
Lenny BruceOnce the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
Lenny BruceGuys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Lenny BruceIf you're from New York and you're Catholic, you're still Jewish. If you're from Butte Montana and you're Jewish, you're still goyisch. The Air Force is Jewish, the Marine Corps dangerous goyisch. Rye Bread is Jewish, instant potatoes, scary goyisch. Eddie Cantor is goyisch, George Jessel is goyisch-Coleman Hawkins is Jewish.
Lenny Bruce