Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.
Lenny BruceThere's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.
Lenny BruceI know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.
Lenny Bruce