There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.

I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.

Every tribe needs a good front man to sell the program. Who better to convince the Middle East to give up the oil, than a brown man with a Muslim name?

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.