I wanted out of the navy so bad in '45, I faked homo to get a discharge. It didn't matter that the Germans surrendered, I knew we were heading to Japan and I was done with that scene.

Satire is tragedy plus time.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.