My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.

You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.

To say whatever nonsense comes into your head without any repercussions has got to be a bigger high than heckling a movie screen in a darkened theater.

Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish.

There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.