My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it.

If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was.

If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't taper off. You've got to quit, cold jerky!

I've talked to biblical cats, and Neanderthals who been here since day one. No one here has even seen the Big Boss. Ever.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.