Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.

I want to perform an unnatural act.

Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.

I wanted out of the navy so bad in '45, I faked homo to get a discharge. It didn't matter that the Germans surrendered, I knew we were heading to Japan and I was done with that scene.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.