Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.

I've talked to biblical cats, and Neanderthals who been here since day one. No one here has even seen the Big Boss. Ever.

The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

Communism is like one big phone company.

What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.