Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.

You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

Once you take away the struggle for food, clothing and shelter, work is the one four letter word that offends everyone.

Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.

You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.