Today, in my career, I'm doing what I love to do. And that is, do things for the fun - do comedy. It's a pleasure to go for the laughter.

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.

I've finally found my home - as Lt. Frank Drebin.

Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.

The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.