I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.

The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.

The reason they call if 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.

I don't think anybody can really sit down and decide that their mission in life is to make people think. I think their mission in life is to leave people alone!

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Shirley! Don't call me Shirley!

I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.