Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy.

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.

The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all.

I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.

Any sport that comes from Scotland is good!