Interesting thing about being rich is once you pay your taxes, you're still rich.

I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.

There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.

We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas.

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics.

I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you're eating something.

See... What I felt they should have done, for our first public works project, is build a giant wall... across the entire border of Canada. Because that's where the cold air comes from.