I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

The fear of health care changing is beyond belief. Like there's a way to make the system worse. Really?

Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!

He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system.

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy.