I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

It's a shame cars don't run on cognitive dissonance.

Here's why I think there's something a little odd with George Bush. Because a lot of the times when he speaks, his words don't match his face. Something is askew. You can't talk about the war with a smile on your face. He does it constantly. If you're the President, you should go We're going to talk about the war, I must have a frowny face. The only time you can smile when you're talking about the war in Iraq is when you go, Well, two Iraqis walk into a bar, hahaha.

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.

It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff.

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics.

I don't Tweet a lot because I've Tweeted things that I thought were really innocuous about subjects that are inflammatory, and the response is so insane sometimes from people.