There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
Lewis BlackI started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
Lewis BlackIt took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.'
Lewis BlackWell first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.
Lewis BlackI've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck ,so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it.
Lewis Black