I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.

The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.

There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.

Whenever someone says they believe the earth was created in 7 days, I grab a fossil and say, Fossil. And if they keep talking, I throw it just over their heads.

You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is, is wrong. I get people across the political spectrum. Parents and kids come and they're all punked out, and there are these other guys in John Deere caps.