For a while, I thought the great disappointment of my life was that I don't have a family of my own. Then it dawned on me: That's not what I think; that's what married people think.

My hate of Apple has moved into a hate of Facebook.

It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursuing that, you're an idiot. You're a moron. The shortest distance between two points is not a celebrity, or being next to a celebrity.

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

I never write anything down. I write onstage.

Now, most of the time you couldn't be too sure of the quality of the drug. Although, in my experience the stuff was always of a very high quality, because back then we didn't have business majors peddling lower-quality stuff in an effort to increase profits.

How long can we go without real leadership? It's like an experiment. It's [a problem with] both parties, it's beyond belief.