I've always been a social network retard, even before there was a social network. People would say, "You want to go to this party and do some networking?"

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.

Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are really the ones that give me hope. There's so much of "they don't know this, and they don't know that," and they're always denigrating.