Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.

Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.