Writing is thinking and thinking is hard work.

Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!

I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie so sweet? There's not enough sugar in the universe.

I've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck ,so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.

When we anticipate, we're the happiest. Unless you're on antidepressants. The reason you take antidepressants is because you can't anticipate. You think everything's going to be horrible, so it usually is.