He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system.

I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It's just a guarantee.

I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.

Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now.

What you don't do, if you're an adult, is decide that you're going to budget things through a sequester. What does that word have to do with budgeting? It's like if you have a family budget and go, 'We really don't know what to take out economically from the budget, so we're going to whack out protein for this week.'

Socialism appeals to me. It's like imposed Christianity. You've got to share.