Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.

The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope.

One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.

People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.

Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a homework assignment every stinking day until it's done. And by the time you get it in, it's done and you're sitting there reading it, and you realize the 12,000 things you didn't do. I mean, writing isn't fun. It's never been fun.