The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.

This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who you are... and when I find you I am going to kill you.

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.

Americans continue to rapidly homogenize ourselves into a neutered oblivion. For a country founded on the protection of the unique, we relish our sameness.

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.

People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER!