North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from.

The new millennium sucks! What a disappointment! What's the difference between the old millennium and the new millennium? Nothing! It's the same load of crap with a '2' in the front. When I was a kid, I am old enough so that when I was a kid, I looked forward to the new millennium. When I was young, I said, 'I'm gonna live through a change! A massive change! Things are gonna be different! Things are gonna be great!' Screwed again! No flying cars! No flying cars!

The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.

See... What I felt they should have done, for our first public works project, is build a giant wall... across the entire border of Canada. Because that's where the cold air comes from.

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.

I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape.