A lot of the times I'm looking at something that I discover is part of a larger framework and not just a couple jokes. I see that it's a set, a story that I'll be telling. Sometimes I get lost in that.

Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity. And I think that's the reason my act has become more political. I've become somewhat more of a political comic because the level of stupidity I've watched is staggering.

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics.

Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.

If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .

My review of 2001, the year, is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It went on too long, it was hard to follow, and you could only enjoy it if you were really, really, *really* stoned.

Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.