My father painted, well into his 80s, what he called hard edge abstractions. It's really cool.

I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not.

If there is hell, it was modeled after junior high school.

I never thought that Bill Clinton should be the president. When he was running to be the president of the United States, he said on over a hundred occasions, he said the following: He said, 'One of the great accomplishments while I was the governor of Arkansas, was to take my state in education from 50th to 49th.' And I thought, ' you know, Bill, you should keep that a secret.

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.

My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes

What I've found in my career is that 70 to 75 percent of comics are nice and have some sense of social skills, but there are those who end up in comedy because they don't know how to socialize. I don't want to deal with that group.