My review of 2001, the year, is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It went on too long, it was hard to follow, and you could only enjoy it if you were really, really, *really* stoned.

People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.

I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.

I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.

Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have.

When you're fund-raising for schools, then something's wrong. We seem to have lost some sort of sense of what the common good is, and if you don't have a sense of what the common good is, then at least give to what you think your specific goods are.

I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.