These people [the Christians] watched the Flintstones as if it were a documentary.

What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you're slamming your head against the wall. So it's nice to make a breakthrough and not kind of lying there with your head bleeding.

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal.

I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you're eating something.

The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.

Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college." Now, I'm gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. "If it weren't for my horse..." as in, giddyup, giddyup, let's go — "I wouldn't have spent that year in college," which is a degree-granting institution. Don't think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your NOSE!

I like college football, but I'm a huge college basketball fan. I could sit and watch every game of March Madness and be happy. That could be a vacation.