These people [the Christians] watched the Flintstones as if it were a documentary.

See... What I felt they should have done, for our first public works project, is build a giant wall... across the entire border of Canada. Because that's where the cold air comes from.

The fear of health care changing is beyond belief. Like there's a way to make the system worse. Really?

Now, they say that New Zealand is beautiful and I do not know -- because after 22 hours on a plane any landmass would be beautiful.

I hammer on a theme until I'm tired of it and the audience is tired of it.

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. I love music because it's really just - I tried to play piano as a kid. I was awful. It didn't help, and this is absolutely true, that my piano teacher had arthritis. And that's not a good way to learn.