My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road.

This is the thing I've never understood: If someone is going to hell for being gay or being a Jew or a Muslim or having an abortion, then what are you worried about? You don't need to try and convert these people or try and save them. If you really believe in your religion, these people are already doomed, so stop worrying about them.

Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York.

It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!

The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope.

What I've found in my career is that 70 to 75 percent of comics are nice and have some sense of social skills, but there are those who end up in comedy because they don't know how to socialize. I don't want to deal with that group.

sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers