FEMA I always thought was a bone here in your ass.

Every time I use an app, part of my brain dies! We'll get to the point where we go to bed and wonder: 'Did I have a thought today?' You'll have to go to your 'Thought' app!

The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.

The kids say golf taught them this and that. I get it with the military: A guy joins the military because he needs discipline and has to find himself. But don't tell me, 'Golf helps you find yourself.' I've been playing my whole life, and I'm still looking for myself.

You know what would help the instruction form? Verbs! Verbs would be nice! Because they help you get to the end of a thought!

Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.

Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.