We have fossils... We win!

My parents are the last of the middle class. My father worked for the government designing sea mines. My mother was a substitute teacher. Together, they worked really only until they were sixty.

There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. I love music because it's really just - I tried to play piano as a kid. I was awful. It didn't help, and this is absolutely true, that my piano teacher had arthritis. And that's not a good way to learn.

If you yell about one woman, you're not a misogynist. If I yell about Michelle Bachman, that doesn't make me a misogynist. If I compare all women to Michelle Bachman, then I'm a misogynist.

I have N'Sync and Aerosmith and Britney Spears. I have a trifecta from hell.

I've always been a social network retard, even before there was a social network. People would say, "You want to go to this party and do some networking?"