You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.

I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.

If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .

Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.

Is a BJ adultery? What? Did I miss a day of school? Of course it is! Oral sex is adultery like Curling is an Olympic sport. The only thing is, oral sex should be in the Olympics because it's much harder than Curling, and if you're good at it, you DESERVE a medal!

If there is hell, it was modeled after junior high school.

Now, they say that New Zealand is beautiful and I do not know -- because after 22 hours on a plane any landmass would be beautiful.