Wow, you survived a blackout. You're made of stronger stuff than ice cream.

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.

What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you're slamming your head against the wall. So it's nice to make a breakthrough and not kind of lying there with your head bleeding.

Some people have religion as a means of solace. But, I had a dreidel, so that was out.

If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.

My hate of Apple has moved into a hate of Facebook.

One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.