Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics.

My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale Drama School. Something, somehow, didn't get passed on to my generation.

North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from.

Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!'

There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.

Who knew that the devil had a factory where he made millions of fossils, which his minions distributed throughout the earth, in order to confuse my tiny brain?

Everybody's family has different values.