My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.

It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!

I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get.

If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.

Americans continue to rapidly homogenize ourselves into a neutered oblivion. For a country founded on the protection of the unique, we relish our sameness.