I feel the need to scream, and even if the scream is not answered, I find my sanity in the echo.

My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road.

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.

I have this insane optimistic streak that the American people prevail over the stupidity that the leadership exhibits time and time again, and I think that's the truth.

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say.

I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you're eating something.