You are an adult, and you can dress up whenever you want to. You don't need permission anymore! If you wake up next tuesday, and you feel like being Batman, go for it! And then you go to work, and your boss will look up and go "who are you," and you can say: "I am Batman. That's who I am, who are you?"

Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy.

There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.

Interesting thing about being rich is once you pay your taxes, you're still rich.

I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not.

You've got to be stupid to heckle me - I am very equipped to win.