The thing is, whenever I see Hillary Clinton, I feel like I have to vote for her. She makes me feel guilty because I feel like I should vote for her so that she'll feel better about herself because she'd been in such a bad marriage.

My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.

Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.

Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York.

If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

My hate of Apple has moved into a hate of Facebook.