I can be drunk until 6 in the morning, and then I don't have to show up to work until 14 hours later.
Lewis BlackI knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it stopped at 14th Street. At the station, the doors opened, and the conductor announced that there was a bomb on board and we should evacuate immediately. Nobody moved. We just looked at each other, 'Do you see a bomb?' 'I don't see a bomb.' 'There's no bomb.' 'I've only got two stops - let's go for it.
Lewis BlackMy touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road.
Lewis Black