If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.

We have fossils... We win!

I think you have to [vote] and the reason you have to go vote is an important one, and that is because the day you vote is the day that you will feel the most ineffectual you will feel all year.

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.

Every other civilized country has determined when life begins and it's something that eludes us. We've got things that have to be done! "We didn't fix that bridge because you are all down at the meeting house discussing abortion again."

I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.