If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.

I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough.

There's no reason to tweet when you are in the midst of a great moment; they are few and far between. So pay attention to it, as you probably won't see it again. You can always tweet later, if you're lucky enough to be part of history and you think 140 characters can do credit to someone like Martin Luther King or to the speech he made that day.

Should I eat this or should I eat this? Well, I'll have to eat both!

People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics.

One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.