I think you have to [vote] and the reason you have to go vote is an important one, and that is because the day you vote is the day that you will feel the most ineffectual you will feel all year.

Apparently there is no profit in the unique, or not enough to make it worthwhile to preserve. Ultimately it drains the life out of us, and existentialism starts to make more and more sense.

If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times.

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal.

I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get.

Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler.

This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who you are... and when I find you I am going to kill you.