I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.

When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, "Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor."

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

The road to success is always under construction.