I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.

I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.

I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that.

When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!

Suddenly I burst into song: 'Awe, sweet mystery of life, at last I found thee...' And I felt so good inside and my heart felt so full, I decided I would set time aside each day to do awe-robics. Because at the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time.

The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.