the three most common myths of modern romance: 1. Single men would prefer being married. 2. Married men actually leave their wives. 3. Men who wear gold chains give gold rings.

The strongest common bond between the genders is the universally acknowledged truth that both men and women are unhappy with their hair.

Changing schools and friends is hard on children and can often make them desperate and lonely enough to form closer ties with a sibling.

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.

Any idiot would know women's needs are simple. All we want is your basic millionaire brain surgeon criminal lawyer great dancer who pilots his own Lear Jet and owns seafront property. On the other hand, things being what they are today, most of us will settle for a guy who holds down a steady job and isn't carrying an infectious disease.

As we move closer and closer to a nonsexist world, women will have an equal opportunity as men to be rejected, embarrassed, and humiliated beyond all consolation.

Our mother's first gift to us comes at the moment we are born, because Mom, as she will subsequently remind us over and over, gives us the Gift of Life Like many of the gifts we receive from our mothers, the Gift of Life usually doesn't fit properly and is almost never returnable without a major hassle.