As we move closer and closer to a nonsexist world, women will have an equal opportunity as men to be rejected, embarrassed, and humiliated beyond all consolation.

It's surely one of the strange phenomena of this decade that the most thoughtful gift you can bring a date is not flowers, chocolates, or ankle-length pearls, but a note from your doctor.

I discovered, quite early in motherhood, that the longest and most painful deliveries occur when you give birth to stepchildren.

I could be a millionaire if I knew how to make stuff and wasn't afraid of electricity.

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

After living with Richard, I discovered that men are only good at cleaning stuff they can hose down.

the three most common myths of modern romance: 1. Single men would prefer being married. 2. Married men actually leave their wives. 3. Men who wear gold chains give gold rings.