If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.

Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.

If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.

You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.

Why do you sound surprised? I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America?

I have many, many voices. I talk to my dogs like in the strangest voices you can imagine.

All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.