Why do you sound surprised? I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America?

I love Gwen Stefani's style, I think she's dope.

Do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on.

I support women. I'm like a human BRA.

I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider it erotica.

I want to do that thing rich people do where they turn money into more money.

We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.